Building sustainable confidence doesn’t happen overnight.

You might be saying your affirmations, writing your journal prompts, making a list of your accomplishments, and feeling great.

Then one day, someone calls you “too much” or a presentation doesn’t go as planned or you don’t enroll the new client after a discovery call.

When you don’t have a firm trust in yourself and believe in your capacity for success, one small curve in the path can send you into an impostor spiral.

I get it, because I’ve been there.

In fact, all it took was one feedback session with a former manager where she personally attacked me and my coaching business for me to totally lose all the confidence it took a lifetime to build.

Have you ever been called, “too much?”

How about, “too quiet,” or “too sensitive?”

Those judgements from others about how we should be can erode our confidence.

Especially when they come from people we love and admire.

In Luvvie Ajayi Jones’ new book, Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, she says that when someone calls you “too” something, it’s more of a statement on them than it is on you.

Still, it can be hard to remember that in the moment, or when those words begin to fill you with self-doubt.

By knowing and owning who you are, you can begin to build confidence in yourself that withstands hurtful criticism from others.

Because when you stand strong in who you are, no one can take that away from you.

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can rely on something or someone – including yourself.

It’s a deep trust in your ability to achieve the goals and success you desire, yet so many of us experience lower levels of confidence because we’ve broken trust with ourselves.

And once that trust is broken, it can be hard to get it back.

Here’s the thing about confidence: It can either propel you forward to achieve your dreams or hold you back for fear of failure.

And if confidence is a feeling or belief, you can use the BE YOU Mental Model to identify your Beliefs, Emotions, Behaviors and Effects and make the shifts necessary to build deeper trust in yourself and your ability to be successful.

What would you do with more confidence?

Would you step outside your comfort zone and try something new?

Would you hit “publish” on your first blog post?

Would you matter-of-factly state your prices without fear of rejection?

If confidence doesn’t come easily for you, it might be overwhelming to consider taking powerful action or doing the things that scare you.

In that case, journaling is a great way to build confidence, because when you journal, you begin to deepen your connection with your inner world in a supportive environment.

You start to build trust in yourself, and you start to understand yourself better.

The act of journaling also helps you replace old, negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs with new, empowering thoughts and abundant beliefs.

International Women’s Day is celebrated annually on March 8th, and it marks a day to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women around the world.

The 2021 theme is #ChooseToChallenge, and as the official IWD website declares:

“A challenged world is an alert world. And from challenge comes change.”

I couldn’t agree more with that statement!

I’ve been challenging workplace norms my entire career. It hasn’t always been easy, and it’s never been comfortable. But change doesn’t happen inside our comfort zones.

And that’s not just change on a global scale or in your workplace or business.

I’m talking about deep internal change.

Gender inequality in the workplace is not only a social issue; it’s an economic one.

A recent McKinsey Global Institute report found that closing the gender pay gap and improving equity for women in the workplace could add $12 trillion to the global GDP by 2025.

That’s important because women make up more than half of the world’s working-age population and make the majority of financial decisions in their households.

Women have also been negatively impacted by the Coronavirus pandemic, and women of color, who are more likely to be laid off or furloughed during the crisis, have been hit especially hard.

Burnout is on the rise, as working mothers take on virtual schoolwork and the feeling of always being “on” at work and at home.

As a result, the 2020 Women in the Workplace Report found that 1 in 4 women are considering downshifting their careers or leaving the workforce.

This has major implications on companies who are struggling to hire qualified candidates, make values-driven decisions around Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, and navigate uncertainty alongside their clients and customers.

And despite the gains we’ve made globally to close the gender pay gap, a new study suggests that due to the pandemic, women’s wages might not recover until 2040.

Three years ago, I wrote a blog about how to close the gender pay gap.

In that article, I shared that, based on current progress, gender parity was more than 200 years away.

I’m happy to share this year that we’ve made progress! Gender parity is now just 99.5 years away, according to the WEF’s 2020 Global Gender Gap Report.

And while I’m thrilled to know that many countries have made huge strides in advancing women in leadership and politics, we still have a long way to go.

I still want to see parity in my lifetime, and that means focusing not only on the advancement of white women, who make 79 cents for every white male dollar, but of Black women, who make 62 cents per dollar, and Latinx women, who make just 55 cents per dollar.

In this two-part series, I’ll share my thoughts on how both women+ as individuals and companies can each do their part to close the gender pay gap.

I’m a voracious reader. One of my Top 5 Strengths is Input – I love collecting information.

And the books I’m drawn to most often are self-help and personal development books. I’ve read countless books on personal finance, spirituality, personal growth, and success. And I’ve realized something.

The personal development field has a lot of people who look the same. When I look at my bookshelves or my Audible library, there are a lot of white, male faces.

And that’s not always the perspective I want to hear.

It’s important to be intentional about who we learn from, whose perspectives we listen to, and whose lessons enrich our lives.

The value that drives much of my mission and purpose is Justice.

I started my company, Bright Space Coaching, in 2016 because I was frustrated with the lack of women leaders in my workplaces. I was enraged that men consistently make more money than women, even with comparable education and experience. And I was determined to make a difference. I wanted justice for women everywhere.

Only back then, I didn’t include Black women. Sure, Black women attended my small group workshops and were part of my Lean In Circle, and Black women were represented in the photos on my website.

But if I’m honest with myself, I didn’t always think about how Black women’s experience of leadership in the workplace differed from mine.

Living your purpose and being of service to others is an incredible expression of your destiny and your reason for being on this Earth.

And, if you’re putting yourself last to take care of everyone else, you know it can also take a toll on your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

Remember: “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”

To continue to show up and serve others as the most authentic and powerful you, it’s important to take time to refresh your mind, replenish your soul, and rejuvenate your body.

One of the best ways to do that is with an at-home spiritual retreat.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to attend a spiritual retreat in a beautiful location, away from the demands of my busy life. But that’s not always possible during a pandemic!

An at-home spiritual retreat is a way to build a connection with God/Spirit/Universe through self-reflection, self-tending, and spiritual activities.

If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life doesn’t always go as planned.

Many of us woke up to a new reality without a job or steady paycheck.

We were forced to change our social habits, workspaces, and holiday celebrations.

We suffered countless, unnecessary losses at the hands of our administration. Both from violence and the Coronavirus.

2020 was also a year of serendipity.

We learned to stay open to changing work habits, responsibilities, opportunities, and regulations.

We learned to pivot our businesses to adapt to virtual work or changing client needs.

We awakened to new opportunities to improve equity and justice in our work and personal lives.

We shifted our goals to accommodate new ways of being, new ways of working, and new ways of learning.

As much as we tried to hold on to our old ways of being and our old goals, the Universe had other plans for us.

For better or worse, we’re in a different place in 2021 than we were when we started 2020.

We can lean on the power of serendipity to help us stay open to new opportunities and chance encounters that can realign us to who we’re meant to be.

You’re a dreamer.

You have big goals and an even bigger vision for the world you want to create.

You’re on the path to living your purpose, and you know what you need to do to get there.

You set strong, ambitious goals year after year.

You start the year off strong, motivated by your big goals, but a few months in, you start to slow down.

You don’t feel inspired to reach your goal.

Maybe you made some missteps along the way. Maybe it’s harder than you thought it would be.

Maybe your friends and family are distracting you or telling you to stop.

Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

Or maybe, you need a new routine.

It’s that time of year again!

A time for review, reflection, renewal.

A time to show gratitude for the things we’ve learned, the experiences that shaped us, and the mistakes that paved our path.

I love this time of year because it's easy to feel a sense of wonder and possibility. Holiday spirit is abundant, people are giving and generous, and those feelings are contagious.

It's also a perfect time of year to reflect on your life. Did you accomplish what you set out to this year? What lessons and gifts did life bring your way? What are you most proud of?

Spending time reflecting on the previous year also sets you up to plan your year ahead. By appreciating the memories, lessons, events, and experiences of the past year, you begin to understand what you want more of in the new year, and what you'd rather leave behind.

One of my favorite ways to celebrate my birthday each year is to spend time reflecting on what I learned over the past year (and years) of my life.

This activity allows me to acknowledge and celebrate my successes, learn from my mistakes, stay grounded in my truth, and set goals for my next year.

Similar to a Year in Review exercise, this is a simple way to come back to yourself. Setting aside time and space for reflection is an important component of aligned introspection.

Knowing yourself is a powerful tool that will fuel you on your journey to living your purpose, and by taking the time to consider how you’ve grown each year, you’re sending a message to the Universe that you’re ready for more.

The thing I love most about my coaching business is the connections I've made with incredible women around the world.

Whether I've coached them, mentored them, learned from them, or grew spiritually because of them, I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

They've all contributed to helping me live my purpose, and I couldn't be more grateful for them.

A few of these women have had some incredible success recently, and I'm taking this opportunity to brag about them :)

Because when one woman wins, we all win.

An abundance mindset flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It’s grounded in the belief that there is more than enough for everyone.

It starts with a deep belief that you are enough, that you have enough, and that you’re deserving of the things you have in your life.

Gratitude helps you cultivate an abundance mindset, because it’s all about having appreciation for the good things in your life; what you already have.

At this point in your journey to finding and living your purpose, you may start to notice that some folks don't understand what you're doing.

It could be your family questioning your new path or your friends who haven't found their purpose criticizing your work.

Living your purpose is hard. It's uncomfortable.

Some people will love you. Some people will disagree with what you're doing. You're not for them, and that's okay. (Even if it is your family!)

The beautiful thing about the world is that we all have different beliefs and values that guide us.

We can be true and centered in who we are AND learn and grow and evolve.

Are you the type of person who takes immediate action, confident that you’ve chosen the right path?

Or, are you more the type of person who needs to ask for everyone’s opinion – your friends, family, spirit guides, therapist, the stranger in line at the grocery store – before you take even the smallest step toward your goals?

Or perhaps it’s a combination of both. In some cases, you feel really clear about your next steps or decisions that you’re making, but when it comes to the major things, like finding your life purpose, you can’t seem to get the clarity you’re seeking.

The good news is: there’s only one path.

No matter if you think you made the wrong decision, or that you’re on the wrong path, or taking the wrong actions, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

You can build trust your inner compass through self-awareness and aligned introspection.

When I share my love of Tarot with others, usually the first reaction I get is “Will I get a card that tells me I’m going to die?”

Which is why I’ve been so reticent to share this important spiritual practice here on my blog.

There are so many misconceptions about Tarot – it’s the Devil’s work, it’s for witches, it’s evil… you name it, I’ve heard it.

Most people are afraid of what they don’t know. We’re afraid of uncertainty, potential disappointment, possible harm or tragedy.

And seeing those things reflected back to us in a card is almost like holding up a mirror to our lives. But not in the way you might think.

Tarot is not a tool to predict the future or report on the past. Rather, it’s a spiritual practice that helps you center yourself in aligned introspection.

Growing up in India, which is still a largely patriarchal society and having worked in corporate technology in the United States for 13 years, which is still a largely male-dominated industry, I often wondered what made a woman a power to reckon with, you know, a Fierce woman.

I would come across terms like ‘she is so brave’, ’so dominating’, ‘a total ball-breaker’ when describing a female leader or an emerging bad-ass-babe. And while those terms don’t necessarily equate to being loud, aggressive or unfeminine, there seemed to be an implicit agreement in both the eastern and western cultures I encountered, that these attributes were prerequisite for a woman to be a powerhouse.

And to clarify, I absolutely adore that loud, aggressive and/or unfeminine woman, if that is her true authentic nature. You go girl! Here though, I want to speak to that other woman who may be soft-spoken and erroneously considered a pushover by those around her or even by herself!