I’m a master asker.

Maybe that’s why I was called “entitled” when I attempted to negotiate my first contract as a new hospital employee. And arrogant, and selfish another time I asked, this time in a much higher position.

Leaders don’t expect women to negotiate, and when they do, we’re met with that double-bind of being liked and respected at work. They liked me before I asked for more, but now, they think I’m entitled.

Well, I am entitled. I’m entitled to being heard. I’m entitled to being paid for the value I’m bringing to this organization. And I’m entitled to fair and equitable treatment at work.

Do we as women always get those things? No – at least that’s been my experience.

There’s a new gender gap in town, and this time, women are leading the way.

The Great Resignation and Great Re-Evaluation are causing women to rethink their careers in bigger ways.

While some women are quitting their jobs for better opportunities, more flexibility, and higher pay, other women are quitting from burnout, childcare needs, or other wellbeing priorities.

Whether you're reaching the next level in your career, turning your side hustle into a full-time gig, or preparing to break into a new industry, making a career change can be challenging without support.

You know that feeling when you flip the page to a new chapter, or the smell of a used book, that can instantly transport you to a different world?

I love that feeling!

That’s why I’m Team Physical Book all the way.

There’s something so satisfying about closing the book at the end of a great reading sesh, especially if you’ve had an ah-ha moment or learned something important.

Whether you’re Team Kindle or you love having a real book in your hand, reading is an incredible way to flex your mental muscle.

I also love sharing what I’ve learned in books with others – for better or worse, you benefit from my Input strength and extreme book collection.

So in the spirit of a new year, I’d love to share the lessons that shaped my life last year from five must-read books.

It’s that time of year again!

You know, that end-of-the-year bustle where in between holiday shopping, too many desserts, and in person or virtual family gatherings, you realize you haven’t achieved half of what you set out to do.

You look at your vision board or planner and sigh, wondering if you’ll ever reach your ideal weight, ideal income, or ideal relationship goals. 

After another challenging year, it’s easy to jump to the negatives – the things you haven’t completed, forgot to do, or messed up.

Luckily, this is the time of year where any day can be a fresh start.

Where you can dream big and think about who you’re becoming in the new year.

Are you owning or renting your strengths?

That might seem like an odd question to ask, but many of us don’t realize our true potential because we have no idea what our strengths are.

And, even if you do know your strengths, you may not always own them.

You don’t want to sound braggy or arrogant when talking about yourself, so you downplay your strengths and diminish your accomplishments.

Instead of taking responsibility for their own insecurity, people may criticize or judge you for your strengths. If that happens, you might think your greatest strengths are actually a weakness or something you should hide.

It’s time to really own your strengths!

You have a unique blueprint of strengths that make you who you are. In fact, according to Gallup, the chances of someone else having the same strengths as you in the same order is 1 in 33 million.

So you are literally one in a million!

When you own your strengths and continue to build them, you can achieve your biggest goals and dreams.

You have big dreams.

You want to help people and change the world, but you’re not sure where to start.

One of the best ways to contribute to serving the world is to find your life purpose.

Your purpose is who you are at your core. It’s your reason for getting out of bed in the morning and the reason you feel a sense of satisfaction when you go to sleep at night.

Living your purpose brings meaning to your life. It helps guide your decisions, influence your life goals, and create a sense of fulfillment.

Showing up as the fullest, boldest, most authentic you is what will change the world. Shrinking does nothing to improve the lives of others, and it will keep you stuck playing small.

And you can show up as the most authentic version of you when you find and live your purpose.

The Covid-19 crisis has wreaked havoc on the lives of working women.

Women, especially mothers and women of color, have been hit hardest by the crisis, and many women have lost jobs or left jobs because of the pandemic.

In fact, female workforce participation has already dropped to 57%—the lowest level since 1988, according to the National Women’s Law Center.

And, according to the 2020 Women in the Workforce Report by McKinsey and LeanIn.org, one in four women are considering downshifting their careers or leaving the workforce due to Covid-19.

The desire to leave the workforce can be especially sharp if you’re feeling undervalued at work.

It makes the decision to leave that much easier.

In your career, you’ve probably encountered some great leaders.

Leaders who inspired you to bring your best to work every day, leaders who knew how to develop your strengths, and leaders who cared about you as an individual.

And I’m willing to bet you also had your fair share of not-so-great leaders.

It’s easy to think that certain leadership styles are better than others, especially when you’ve experienced how each one feels as an employee.

As a leader, you want to give your best for your team. You want to inspire them to grow, to do great work, and to find joy and meaning in their jobs.

And to do that, it’s important to take stock of your own leadership style; how you show up every day to lead the people on your team or in your organization.

There’s no “one size fits all” approach to leadership, and styles can be flexed depending on the situation, organization, or even the individual.

Have you ever been told you’re bossy? Aggressive? Too much? What about too emotional? You’re too nice?

Do you struggle to find the balance between being respected and liked at work? Do you struggle to find balance at all?

If you’re like most women, you likely said yes to any (or all) of the above questions. And let’s face it: this double-edged sword of trying to hide our feminine strengths to fit into a masculine work environment is holding women back.

Women are asking for raises and getting promotions at the same rate as men, yet we have a long way to go to close the gender gap. We need a new approach to leadership, one where traditional feminine strengths are recognized and rewarded. Playing by the old rules of leadership is over.

Yet, when we try to adopt a traditionally masculine approach to leadership (i.e. authoritative rather than participative), disconnect with our emotions, and focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths, the gap in female leaders grows wider.

It’s time to own who you are and what you bring to the table.

Women are asking for promotions and negotiating salaries at the same rate as men. We’re showing up at work, committed to our companies and careers. And this translates to more women in senior and C-suite leadership positions across the country.

Yet, women continue to be underrepresented at every level of leadership.

The 2019 McKinsey report, Women in the Workplace, revealed that men said the biggest obstacle to parity in leadership was having too few qualified women in the pipeline, while women said they are being judged by different standards.

In reality, the research shows that the biggest opportunity isn’t in breaking the glass ceiling, but in what they term the “broken rung.”

You’ve built up great skills and experience in your current role, and now you’re ready to move on to the next level.

Or maybe you’ve spent the past ten years in the same company or field, and now you’re ready to shift gears and transition to a new industry.

Or perhaps you’re struggling to keep yourself motivated at a job that doesn’t align with your values, or one where your ideas or opinions are constantly challenged.

Whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re ready to look for a new job.

You know the tactical things you need to do before starting your job search – updating your resume and LinkedIn profile, reaching out to former colleagues or mentors to learn about job opportunities, making a list of the top companies or job titles you’ll search for.

But you may be overlooking the most powerful tool in your job search arsenal: your mindset.

We’ve all been there – that Sunday-night slump, feeling defeated before you even set foot in your office, counting down the hours until you can go home, wondering if there’s more to life than this…

Sure, you may like your job or company, but something just doesn’t feel right. If you’re racking your brain for an excuse not to show up, constantly daydreaming about endless vacations, or standing in your closet for what feels like an hour trying to decide what to wear, you may be feeling stuck in your job.

And even though most of us have felt this sinking feeling at one point in our careers, it’s a sign that something needs to change. Feeling stuck in your job can have devastating effects on your life, leading to low self-esteem or self-confidence, feelings of unworthiness or not feeling good enough, decreased productivity or motivation, or even depression.

I spent my career in healthcare specializing in continuous process improvement.  My job was to help smart people solve hard problems, figure out ways to make their jobs easier, and to set the strategy for transformational change.

Continuous improvement also translates nicely to the work I do with my coaching clients. I help women take small steps every day to transform their lives, discover their strengths and purpose, and lead with intention.

I used the concept of Kaizen to help me improve my own life and find my dream career when I found myself trapped in a toxic work environment where my ideas and opinions were constantly challenged. I felt stuck and discouraged. I didn’t know where to start or what I wanted to do.

It started with a mindset shift and daily gratitude practice. From there, I started to identify my strengths and values and how I could use them to find a career I loved where I felt appreciated, valued, and respected for who I am.

Entitled.

That’s what I was called the very first time I negotiated my salary. Not from my boss, but from my boss’s boss.

I was fresh out of grad school and had just been offered a job at the hospital where I completed a 6-month administrative residency, and he was my Preceptor. In school, we were told what to expect as far as salary ranges, and the offer was very low compared to what we were told.

I wasn’t successful in negotiating that offer, but I was determined to get what I was worth. I applied to another job and got an offer from Johns Hopkins Hospital. Now, I had leverage. I told my boss about the Hopkins offer, and he asked “what will it take to get you to stay?” So I said, “A manager title and $10k more than this offer.” I was prepared, I did my homework, I had options, and I was confident in my ask. I got exactly what I asked for.

I had known since I was little that I would be going to college to get a degree, although the degree of choice changed a little over the years, from marine biology to architecture to engineering. I was fortunate to have parents that told me I could be and do anything that I wanted, and supportive mentors and teachers throughout high school. When I got to college, things changed a little…

There's actually something to those magazine collages you made in summer camp as a kid.

Are you a Goal Getter? If you're anything like me, you love setting and achieving goals.

I'm super competitive with myself, so I'm always thinking about what I can do next; how can I improve? How can I reach even further?

But for some of us, goal-setting doesn't come as naturally.

Luckily, there's a simple tool you can use to set and achieve goal with ease. And I bet you already have all the supplies around your house.

“You’re not good enough.”

“No one will pay you for this.”

“Who are you to give people advice on being confident?”

These are just a few of the thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis.

As soon as I became a full-time entrepreneur, I started to question every move, every decision, every program or service I designed.

As a healthcare executive, I rarely questioned myself. I believed in my ability to be successful in my job, and I often heard great feedback on my programs and training from colleagues and supervisors.

But even though I still hear great feedback from my clients and friends, I don’t believe them.

My high school career aptitude test said I should be a fish & game warden. After frantically googling what that meant, it was clear that my responses on the “Do you like the outdoors?” section may have skewed the results.

Obviously, a test can’t tell you what your life’s work should be, but I so desperately wanted clear direction that I briefly considered this career path. Alas, a jumpy person alone in the woods does not mix well with firearms. So fish & game warden was out. On to the next idea.

Trial and error would become the theme of the next few years of my life. I changed my major multiple times in college before graduating with degrees in Economics and Marketing. I took a job in sales, got promoted twice, and quit within three years. I tried to “find myself” by traveling around Europe for a few months. You get the idea. I was literally and figuratively all over the map.

The TV show "Mad Men" shows, in part, the journey of Joan Holloway from stereotypical secretary who dreams of nothing more than being the pampered housewife of a wealthy doctor into a bad-ass single mother and entrepreneur. Through the course of the show, she manages to climb the ranks until she becomes a partner in her firm and even brings in her own clients. At the end of it, her company is taken over by a larger company which refuses to take her seriously and essentially pushes her out simply for being a woman in a high power position.

As a former hiring manager, I’ve combed through hundreds of resumes and cover letters. I’m also the go-to person in my friends and family circle when someone needs help updating theirs.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: your resume is one of the most important documents you will ever own!

It’s true – your resume can be the one thing standing between you and a job you love and your key to a prosperous and exciting future.

That’s why it’s so important to spend time crafting a concise, yet powerful resume that is tailored for the job you want.

Let’s start with the basics.