As a business owner, putting yourself out there is part of the territory.

And when you put yourself out there as a business owner, a lot of feelings can come up. You might not feel good enough, or you might think “who am I to do this?”

When you talk about your services, put out a new blog or social media post, or any kind of marketing in general, you’re putting yourself out there.

You’re putting that line in the sand and saying, “I’m out there now,” when you launch your website or Instagram account.

When you start posting about the topics you’re an expert in, or the topics you’re passionate about, now you’re really out there.

And this is where your confidence or lack thereof will enable you or hold you back. You either have the confidence to keep going and being consistent or, something happens and you’re ready to give up.

Maybe you’re afraid to put yourself out there in the first place, so you avoid writing a new blog post or social media post.

Or maybe you did put yourself out there and something happened – you got negative feedback or comments, or no reaction, so it makes you hesitant to keep going.

You might think, “is anyone even reading this? Does anyone even care? Why am I even doing this?”

Spoiler alert: it’s important to be consistent with putting yourself out there. And it all comes back to managing your emotions.

So many business coaches out there are encouraging you to “charge your worth.”

That kind of advice might work for white men, but for women who have been conditioned to measure their worth based on external factors, it’s anathema.

For centuries, women have been taught to measure their worth based on how they look, how they keep their house, how well-behaved their children are…

And now, with more than 51% of businesses being owned by women, we’re now measuring our worth based on the income we bring in or how many clients we enroll.

This needs to stop.

It’s time for women to stop taking advice from the very people who make us question our worth in the first place.

Because you are worthy. Period.

You know the drill – as soon as you come up with an idea for a new program or offering, you have a million reasons why it won’t work or why you can’t do it.

You worry that no one will buy your new online course or enroll in your amazing group coaching program.

You spend hours tweaking your Instagram posts or emails, trying to get the perfect message across.

You lie awake at night wondering if you’re really cut out for this.

You fear you’ll never make enough money - or have enough courage to work your business full time, because deep down, you believe you’re not good enough.

You know what you need to do to grow your coaching business. You’ve learned the strategies and the how-tos, yet something is holding you back from really putting yourself out there.

Have you ever had a hunch that came true?

Do you have an uncanny knack for guessing what will happen next in a movie?

Are you “always right” when it comes to sensing bad intentions in others?

If you said yes to any of the above, then you have a strong intuition!

The real question is: how often do you trust or follow your intuition?

I’ve always been an intuitive person, but in grad school, I didn’t trust my hunches or nudges.

When the professor asked the class a question, I almost always knew the answer, but I never raised my hand. Then, when someone else raised their hand and got the answer right, I always kicked myself for not trusting in myself.

I also got really close to a woman who ended up becoming my worst enemy. I always thought to myself, “I should have listened to my gut!”

Have you had any experiences like that?

Deepening trust in your intuition is an important way to build sustainable confidence in yourself. It can also help you make better decisions, avoid disappointing relationships, and gain the clarity you need to take the next steps in your path.

It might seem like magic (and those moments when you do trust your intuition often are!), but there are real and tangible ways you can deepen trust in your intuition so you can make better decisions for your life.

Have you heard that we think more than 50,000 thoughts per day?

Well, new research shows that number is actually closer to 6,200 thoughts.

Still, that’s a lot to process every day. That’s about 258 thoughts per hour or 4 thoughts per minute!

And how many of those thoughts are negative?

If you’re like most women, negative thoughts are almost part of your DNA.

You may not even notice how often you think negative thoughts about yourself, because they’re so ingrained in your thought process.

Negative thoughts erode your confidence by causing you to lose trust in yourself. And a deep trust is the foundation for building sustainable confidence.

If negative thinking is your default thought process, read on to learn how to reframe your thinking and choose empowering thoughts instead.

Where do you want to be six months from now?

Do you believe you have what it takes to get there, or do your beliefs about yourself stand in the way of achieving that goal?

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts you have about yourself, your business, your life, or any given situation that hold you back from achieving what you want.

They prevent you from moving forward toward your goals because you believe you cannot achieve your desires, or that they are not available to you.

If you’re struggling to start something new or achieve a goal you’ve had for years, chances are your thoughts about yourself and your situation may have something to do with it.

Building sustainable confidence doesn’t happen overnight.

You might be saying your affirmations, writing your journal prompts, making a list of your accomplishments, and feeling great.

Then one day, someone calls you “too much” or a presentation doesn’t go as planned or you don’t enroll the new client after a discovery call.

When you don’t have a firm trust in yourself and believe in your capacity for success, one small curve in the path can send you into an impostor spiral.

I get it, because I’ve been there.

In fact, all it took was one feedback session with a former manager where she personally attacked me and my coaching business for me to totally lose all the confidence it took a lifetime to build.

Have you ever been called, “too much?”

How about, “too quiet,” or “too sensitive?”

Those judgements from others about how we should be can erode our confidence.

Especially when they come from people we love and admire.

In Luvvie Ajayi Jones’ new book, Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, she says that when someone calls you “too” something, it’s more of a statement on them than it is on you.

Still, it can be hard to remember that in the moment, or when those words begin to fill you with self-doubt.

By knowing and owning who you are, you can begin to build confidence in yourself that withstands hurtful criticism from others.

Because when you stand strong in who you are, no one can take that away from you.

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can rely on something or someone – including yourself.

It’s a deep trust in your ability to achieve the goals and success you desire, yet so many of us experience lower levels of confidence because we’ve broken trust with ourselves.

And once that trust is broken, it can be hard to get it back.

Here’s the thing about confidence: It can either propel you forward to achieve your dreams or hold you back for fear of failure.

And if confidence is a feeling or belief, you can use the BE YOU Mental Model to identify your Beliefs, Emotions, Behaviors and Effects and make the shifts necessary to build deeper trust in yourself and your ability to be successful.

What would you do with more confidence?

Would you step outside your comfort zone and try something new?

Would you hit “publish” on your first blog post?

Would you matter-of-factly state your prices without fear of rejection?

If confidence doesn’t come easily for you, it might be overwhelming to consider taking powerful action or doing the things that scare you.

In that case, journaling is a great way to build confidence, because when you journal, you begin to deepen your connection with your inner world in a supportive environment.

You start to build trust in yourself, and you start to understand yourself better.

The act of journaling also helps you replace old, negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs with new, empowering thoughts and abundant beliefs.

International Women’s Day is celebrated annually on March 8th, and it marks a day to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women around the world.

The 2021 theme is #ChooseToChallenge, and as the official IWD website declares:

“A challenged world is an alert world. And from challenge comes change.”

I couldn’t agree more with that statement!

I’ve been challenging workplace norms my entire career. It hasn’t always been easy, and it’s never been comfortable. But change doesn’t happen inside our comfort zones.

And that’s not just change on a global scale or in your workplace or business.

I’m talking about deep internal change.

If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life doesn’t always go as planned.

Many of us woke up to a new reality without a job or steady paycheck.

We were forced to change our social habits, workspaces, and holiday celebrations.

We suffered countless, unnecessary losses at the hands of our administration. Both from violence and the Coronavirus.

2020 was also a year of serendipity.

We learned to stay open to changing work habits, responsibilities, opportunities, and regulations.

We learned to pivot our businesses to adapt to virtual work or changing client needs.

We awakened to new opportunities to improve equity and justice in our work and personal lives.

We shifted our goals to accommodate new ways of being, new ways of working, and new ways of learning.

As much as we tried to hold on to our old ways of being and our old goals, the Universe had other plans for us.

For better or worse, we’re in a different place in 2021 than we were when we started 2020.

We can lean on the power of serendipity to help us stay open to new opportunities and chance encounters that can realign us to who we’re meant to be.

You’re a dreamer.

You have big goals and an even bigger vision for the world you want to create.

You’re on the path to living your purpose, and you know what you need to do to get there.

You set strong, ambitious goals year after year.

You start the year off strong, motivated by your big goals, but a few months in, you start to slow down.

You don’t feel inspired to reach your goal.

Maybe you made some missteps along the way. Maybe it’s harder than you thought it would be.

Maybe your friends and family are distracting you or telling you to stop.

Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

Or maybe, you need a new routine.

It’s that time of year again!

A time for review, reflection, renewal.

A time to show gratitude for the things we’ve learned, the experiences that shaped us, and the mistakes that paved our path.

I love this time of year because it's easy to feel a sense of wonder and possibility. Holiday spirit is abundant, people are giving and generous, and those feelings are contagious.

It's also a perfect time of year to reflect on your life. Did you accomplish what you set out to this year? What lessons and gifts did life bring your way? What are you most proud of?

Spending time reflecting on the previous year also sets you up to plan your year ahead. By appreciating the memories, lessons, events, and experiences of the past year, you begin to understand what you want more of in the new year, and what you'd rather leave behind.

One of my favorite ways to celebrate my birthday each year is to spend time reflecting on what I learned over the past year (and years) of my life.

This activity allows me to acknowledge and celebrate my successes, learn from my mistakes, stay grounded in my truth, and set goals for my next year.

Similar to a Year in Review exercise, this is a simple way to come back to yourself. Setting aside time and space for reflection is an important component of aligned introspection.

Knowing yourself is a powerful tool that will fuel you on your journey to living your purpose, and by taking the time to consider how you’ve grown each year, you’re sending a message to the Universe that you’re ready for more.

An abundance mindset flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It’s grounded in the belief that there is more than enough for everyone.

It starts with a deep belief that you are enough, that you have enough, and that you’re deserving of the things you have in your life.

Gratitude helps you cultivate an abundance mindset, because it’s all about having appreciation for the good things in your life; what you already have.

At this point in your journey to finding and living your purpose, you may start to notice that some folks don't understand what you're doing.

It could be your family questioning your new path or your friends who haven't found their purpose criticizing your work.

Living your purpose is hard. It's uncomfortable.

Some people will love you. Some people will disagree with what you're doing. You're not for them, and that's okay. (Even if it is your family!)

The beautiful thing about the world is that we all have different beliefs and values that guide us.

We can be true and centered in who we are AND learn and grow and evolve.

Are you the type of person who takes immediate action, confident that you’ve chosen the right path?

Or, are you more the type of person who needs to ask for everyone’s opinion – your friends, family, spirit guides, therapist, the stranger in line at the grocery store – before you take even the smallest step toward your goals?

Or perhaps it’s a combination of both. In some cases, you feel really clear about your next steps or decisions that you’re making, but when it comes to the major things, like finding your life purpose, you can’t seem to get the clarity you’re seeking.

The good news is: there’s only one path.

No matter if you think you made the wrong decision, or that you’re on the wrong path, or taking the wrong actions, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

You can build trust your inner compass through self-awareness and aligned introspection.

If you’ve ever paid attention to your thoughts for a day, then you’ve likely noticed some very negative things you tend to think about yourself:

“I ruined dinner again. Everyone will hate this meal! Why do I even bother?”

“I forgot to pay my credit card bill – I’m such an idiot!”

“I don’t know enough to be a health coach. Who would take health advice from me anyway?”

“I haven’t achieved anything in my life. I’m stuck in a job I hate, and I never have enough money. I’m a total failure.”

So much of what we say and think about ourselves is negative. And those negative thoughts influence everything else in your life: Your Beliefs create Emotions, which create Behaviors, which result in Effects.

And the Effects you get reinforce your Belief. So when you believe you’re a failure or you don’t know enough about something, your emotions and behaviors will cause you to act in a way that makes that a reality.

On the other hand, if you believe you have everything you need to be successful or you believe you are smart, capable and talented, your emotions will shift, and so will your behaviors, to allow you to achieve your goals.

Think about the last goal you set for yourself.

Did you push forward past fear, overwhelm and doubt to achieve it?

Or, did your fears, feelings of overwhelm and crushing self-doubt hold you back?

Those thoughts, reinforced over time, come from a scarcity mindset, or the belief that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety.

A scarcity mindset can cause you to limit yourself through your beliefs and actions, preventing you from achieving your biggest goals, keeping you in debt, or destroying your confidence.

You might feel that you don’t know enough, you don’t have the resources, or you’re not good enough to achieve success or build wealth.

You might think, “who am I to go after this dream?”

And if that sounds like you, know you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need a subtle shift in your mindset to think more abundantly about your life.