As a leader, whether in a corporate setting or in your own business, you’re constantly making decisions.

You have to decide on the best candidate for your open role, how much to charge for your services, whether to continue with a project or put it on hold.

Not to mention the decisions you make when it comes to your personal life.

(My least favorite is, “what’s for dinner?”)

Society prioritizes rational thinking, pragmatism, and data-driven decisions.

And while I believe there is certainly a place for the “hard” information, this way of thinking leads women to believe we have to make the perfect decision every time.

Have you ever been told you’re bossy? Aggressive? Too much? What about too emotional? You’re too nice?

Do you struggle to find the balance between being respected and liked at work? Do you struggle to find balance at all?

If you’re like most women, you likely said yes to any (or all) of the above questions. And let’s face it: this double-edged sword of trying to hide our feminine strengths to fit into a masculine work environment is holding women back.

In your career, you’ve probably encountered some great leaders.

Leaders who inspired you to bring your best to work every day, leaders who knew how to develop your strengths, and leaders who cared about you as an individual.

And I’m willing to bet you also had your fair share of not-so-great leaders.

It’s easy to think that certain leadership styles are better than others, especially when you’ve experienced how each one feels as an employee.

As a leader, you want to give your best for your team. You want to inspire them to grow, to do great work, and to find joy and meaning in their jobs.

And to do that, it’s important to take stock of your own leadership style; how you show up every day to lead the people on your team or in your organization.

There’s no “one size fits all” approach to leadership, and styles can be flexed depending on the situation, organization, or even the individual.

Have you ever been told you’re bossy? Aggressive? Too much? What about too emotional? You’re too nice?

Do you struggle to find the balance between being respected and liked at work? Do you struggle to find balance at all?

If you’re like most women, you likely said yes to any (or all) of the above questions. And let’s face it: this double-edged sword of trying to hide our feminine strengths to fit into a masculine work environment is holding women back.

Women are asking for raises and getting promotions at the same rate as men, yet we have a long way to go to close the gender gap. We need a new approach to leadership, one where traditional feminine strengths are recognized and rewarded. Playing by the old rules of leadership is over.

Yet, when we try to adopt a traditionally masculine approach to leadership (i.e. authoritative rather than participative), disconnect with our emotions, and focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths, the gap in female leaders grows wider.

It’s time to own who you are and what you bring to the table.

Women are asking for promotions and negotiating salaries at the same rate as men. We’re showing up at work, committed to our companies and careers. And this translates to more women in senior and C-suite leadership positions across the country.

Yet, women continue to be underrepresented at every level of leadership.

The 2019 McKinsey report, Women in the Workplace, revealed that men said the biggest obstacle to parity in leadership was having too few qualified women in the pipeline, while women said they are being judged by different standards.

In reality, the research shows that the biggest opportunity isn’t in breaking the glass ceiling, but in what they term the “broken rung.”

I’m not here to empower you.

Because I know that you already have everything you need to be successful.

You have charm and wit and strength and power beyond what you think you’re capable of. You have the knowledge and resources to learn more, do more, and achieve more. You have skills and life experience that no other woman has, and that gives you your own unique perspective on the world.

You are empowered because you have those qualities; no one can take them away from you. Nor can someone give you permission, authority, or power to show up as your beautiful, authentic self.

No one can give you power, because you are already powerful beyond measure.

Shatter the Glass Ceiling Together with Lean In Circles

I sat across the table from the man who would determine my future. It was now or never.

My palms sweaty and my heart racing, I began to list all my achievements from the past three years. Finally, the words, burning on my tongue since the moment I walked in the room, slipped out and formed the sentence, “I’d like a promotion.”