How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome with 12 Powerful Strategies
Impostor Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon involving the belief that you’re inadequate, incompetent, and a complete failure despite evidence that you actually are successful. It’s also the inability to believe that you deserve success or that you achieved success as a result of your own efforts, skills, or expertise.
Impostor Syndrome affects about 70% of the population, and minority groups, including women, people of color, and people being “the first” are disproportionately affected.
How do I know if I have impostor syndrome?
There are three hallmark symptoms of impostor syndrome:
1. Feeling like a fraud. Because you feel incompetent or inadequate, you feel like a fraud. You assume other people are going to find you out. And find out that you are not as good as they thought you were. You internalize this and your inner critic says things like, “I should just quit before they figure out that I’m not cut out for this.”
2. Devaluing your own worth. Because you feel inadequate, you might also feel worthless, or like you’re worth less. You might take the first offer instead of negotiating a fair salary. You might do something pro bono instead of charging your regular rates. When you feel incompetent, you don’t feel like you have the right to ask for these things.
3. Undermining your expertise. Because you feel incompetent, you undermine your own expertise. You might feel like you haven’t “earned” your title, so you stay late and work extra hard to prove your worth. Instead of owning your intelligence and capability, you may continue to enroll in certification, training, or degree programs because you never feel like you know enough.
Why do we have these feelings? Where does this come from?
Societal pressures, historical norms, and unconscious bias contribute to this. One thing women face in the workplace is feeling like we’re not good enough because historically we haven’t been given these opportunities. We haven’t been given the opportunity to be in a leadership role or work in certain fields or industries. Historically, women were not part of the workforce, or they weren’t holding leadership positions if they were working.
Impostor syndrome is especially acute when you’re the first to do something, or if you’re doing something for the first time. You might be the first in your family to go to college, or the first to hold some type of leadership role as a woman, or as a woman of color.
We feel this because we don’t see examples of women like us. We don’t see other women leaders. We don’t see other women at the top or in certain fields and industries. It feels like we can’t have that because we don’t see anyone who looks like us. When we’re the first, it’s understandable that we’d feel like an impostor. We might not believe that what we have is really ours. We might think, “what are we doing here?”
We might be the first woman in our organization to hold a role, we might be the first woman in our industry to do something. We might be the first woman of color to be in a department, organization, or leadership role. These feelings can really be sharp when we’re the first, and as the first, we can help other women cope with feeling like an impostor.
Here's how to overcome impostor syndrome with 12 powerful strategies:
1. Realize it won’t happen overnight
Be willing to realize that this is a process. You have spent 20, 30, 40+ years of your life building the thought process you have right now. Rewiring your brain to believe that you are good enough and smart enough to be great at your job and deserving of success will not happen overnight. You won’t wake up tomorrow and decide that you don’t want to be an impostor anymore or wake up to see that your impostor syndrome is gone. These thoughts are generational and have been passed down from women throughout the ages, and it has been shown to us in society through overt and unconscious bias. It’s going to take work and diligence and being mindful of it to overcome it.
2. Recognize the thought for what it is
Being aware of your thoughts and what’s coming up for you is the first step in overcoming this. If you’re not aware of why you’re feeling a certain way – thoughts like, “why am I not good at this?” or “why am I struggling so much with this job or project?” – you can increase feelings of being an impostor. Start to notice your thoughts and identify whether the thought is impostor syndrome, or if you’re really not doing a good job and need to learn more or step up or be more motivated. By recognizing the thought as an impostor thought, you can take powerful action toward reframing the thought or trying one of the below strategies to help you overcome it.
3. Get clear on your purpose and values
When we’re connected to something meaningful, something bigger than ourselves, we can use that connection to overcome impostor syndrome. Identifying your core values and finding your life purpose are two ways you can get clear on what really matters to you. And when you’re clear on your purpose and how you’re meant to serve the world, you can align your career or job to your strengths, skills, and expertise. When you’re in a role where you use your strengths and expertise on a daily basis, you start to build confidence in yourself. If you need somewhere to start, click here to join the 30-Day Life Purpose Challenge.
4. Talk about it
Get a group of women together. Talk to your mentor. Talk to someone you’re close with. Talk to other women about what you’re feeling and the context in which these feelings are coming up – did you start a new job or project? Do you have a new member of your team? Are you going back to school? Did you get a promotion? What happened, and what’s coming up for you? And just talk about it. When you feel like you’re doubting yourself and not feeling worthy, you can normalize impostor syndrome by talking about it. I’m willing to bet the other women you speak to will reciprocate and say “yeah, I felt that same way.” Find someone that you feel comfortable talking to and share your feelings and experience.
5. Recognize that your mistakes don’t define you
This is the difference between “I’m stupid,” vs. “that thing I did was stupid,” or “I’m bad,” vs. “that was a bad mistake.” Your mistakes don’t make you a bad person, less smart, or less capable of doing your job, because we’re human and everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of learning, it’s part of growing, it’s part of the journey of leadership and career, growing and developing over time. Don’t let it define you. Instead, think about how you can step back from it and learn from your mistake and say, “oh I messed up, but that doesn’t reflect on me as a person.”
6. Make a list of accomplishments
There are two ways to do this. In one version, you can go through the decades of your life (between ages 0-10, 11-20, etc.), and write down all of your accomplishments from each time period, big or small. This way, you have a clear picture of patterns or themes in your accomplishments, and you can see how achievements built on each other to get you to where you are today.
The second version is to make a list of accomplishments every single day. This one is hardest for most women. We tend to think that accomplishment has to be something big and something amazing that we did, but an accomplishment can be something small. It could be “I made it through the day.” No judgement, it’s whatever YOU think an accomplishment is, no matter how small. When you start to write these things down, you can categorize and start to notice the things that you’re doing well every single day, making a mental note and giving yourself evidence that you do have accomplishments and you do have success.
7. Rewire your brain
Again, this one’s easier said than done, and it takes time. Rewiring your brain or thought process is your life’s work – to change it, you’ll need to work at it consistently. Your brain has one job – to keep you safe. That’s why it strives to keep you in your comfort zone. And it does that with these impostor thoughts that you’re not good enough.
To rewire your brain, start with positive affirmations. Affirmations give you the opportunity to choose words that help create something positive in your life, such as confidence. Affirmations help you retrain your thinking and speaking into positive patterns so you can truly transform your thoughts and improve your confidence.
You can also rewire your brain with the BE YOU Mental Model (I talk more about this in my free mini course on confidence). It’s a self-coaching tool that explains how your beliefs about something create emotions. Those emotions in turn elicit behaviors. And we all know that every behavior has a consequence, or effect. Your beliefs create emotions, which create behaviors, which create effects. Using this model helps you reframe negative situations by allowing you to see patterns in your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It helps you understand why you feel like an impostor in certain situations and walks you through creating a better reaction.
8. Ask self-coaching questions
Self-coaching questions work for two reasons. One, because it forces you out of your impostor thought in the moment and focuses your attention on the question. And two, because it helps you take somewhat of an outsider’s perspective to your own thoughts and feelings. Here’s an example:
Thought: “I’m too young to be a leader. No one will take me seriously, and I’m not cut out for this role.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
What caused this thought?
What evidence is there to support this thought? In other words, did someone tell me this or am I making this up in my head?
How does this thought serve me?
What is the truth?
How can I shift my perspective?
9. Recognize the difference between worth and value
Worth is inherent. You are worthy because you exist, and everyone on this planet has the same inherent worth. Value is where we tend to get confused. Value is the experience and the expertise that you bring to the table in your daily work. Instead of thinking, “I need to work harder to prove my worth,” remember that you’re actually showing (not proving) your value. You can work hard and own your work and capabilities, and this reminds your leader why they hired you – for your skills, the expertise you’re lending, the experience you’re bringing to work each day. Remind yourself of your value. Be consistent about the level and quality of work you’re providing, and you won’t have to prove a thing.
10. Accept the compliment
This is similar to writing down your accomplishments. At the end of the day, ask yourself: What compliments did you get today? And how did you respond? An important way to overcome impostor syndrome is to stop diminishing yourself and start accepting compliments without an explanation. Instead of qualifying everything with, “thanks, but…” (“Thanks, but it was a team effort,” “Thanks, but I’ve done that a million times,” “Thanks, but it was nothing.”) Just say, “thank you” period. If you start anywhere, start with that. Thank you period.
11. Visualize success
If you have a meeting coming up where you feel like you don’t know enough to have a conversation or deliver a presentation, you can visualize success by envisioning the conversation. See yourself actually having the conversation with the person. Think about how they might respond to your request, what questions they might have if you’re giving a presentation, and be prepared to answer those questions. Many times, all we need to do is take more time to prepare. It’s not that when we make a mistake that we’re not good at our job or we don’t know enough, we just need to prepare more next time. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
12. Fake it ‘til you make it
I know this sounds too good to be true, but hear me out. Confidence comes from taking action. Even if you don’t feel confident, even if you don’t have everything you need, or the information you need or the education you need, start from where you’re at. Don’t wait to feel confident before you try something new or take a risk or have a conversation. Do it before you feel confident, and you’ll start to build that confidence over time. You’re not going to build confidence by thinking about something or learning or only saying positive affirmations. You have to put in the work.
The Takeaway
Confidence comes from taking action. And that goes for this list, too. I know it’s not a quick fix. The things on this list won’t help you overcome impostor syndrome in a day, or a week. You have to choose to put in the work and be consistent about it. You can try out a few of these strategies and see what feels good, what works for you. It takes time to notice your thoughts are changing and moving in a direction where you feel more competent and confident and that you have what you need to be successful.
Take action now: Choose one of these strategies and test it out for a week. When impostor thoughts come up for you, try your strategy, then journal about your experience. Which of these tips are you excited to try first? Let me know in the comments!
If you’re feeling like an impostor in your job or career, it might be time for a second look at how your career aligns with your purpose.
Sign up for the free masterclass, Thrive Beyond the 9-5, where you’ll learn how to turn your strengths and passions into a thriving business. You’ll learn how to leverage your strengths, skills, and career experience to start a business that aligns with who you are, so you can get paid for what you already know – at double (or triple!) your current rates. Click here to sign up for instant access to the free training!
