5 Things You Can Do When You Feel Lost
It’s easy to feel lost, confused, or overwhelmed right now.
The Coronavirus pandemic upended and shut down life as we knew it. Social uprising and protests for Black Lives Matter are demanding radical change. Change for individuals and society as a whole.
Our jobs have changed. Our income has changed. Our social lives have changed. Our belief systems, organizational systems, and government systems are being challenged to change.
Change is overwhelming, even when it’s a good thing. Especially when it’s necessary.
Overwhelm kicks in when we struggle with too many choices, options or responsibilities. The dictionary definition is just too poignant not to share: “to bury or drown beneath a huge mass; to defeat completely.”
Sounds about right.
We’re buried under the weight of juggling childcare, schoolwork, household responsibilities, and our own work. We’re buried in emotional turmoil as we navigate new ways of living, working, connecting, and learning. It’s no wonder we’re completely defeated when it comes time to make even the simplest decision.
But the truth is, we’re overwhelmed because we don’t have clarity on what’s important to us. We don’t truly understand our passions, purpose, goals, hopes, dreams. We don’t have a clear action plan or roadmap.
And the ironic thing is that clarity only comes from execution. We can only have clarity in our path when we try something, fail, try something else, and fail again. And yet we’re afraid of failing or saying or doing the wrong thing.
We commit ourselves to these awful cycles of fear, overwhelm, doing nothing, and never trying. We fail anyway because we do nothing. We change nothing. And we continue to feel lost.
A harder truth: Overwhelm is a choice.
We can choose to continue this cycle of feeling lost when we don’t give ourselves time to prioritize and think about what’s most important or what’s in alignment with our values or purpose. Or, we can choose to take action, work through the pain, and find the clarity we’re seeking.
Here are 5 things you can do when you feel lost:
1. Come back to your values
Values are the fundamental beliefs you have about your life.
They guide your behaviors, decisions, and actions. They bring about a sense of purpose and self-worth. They remind you what’s important to you and what you want more of in your life.
When you know what’s important to you, you can live in alignment with those values. You can choose to act in ways that support your values and what you stand for.
Identifying your core values will remind you of what’s important to you now, or what you want more of in your life or in the world – like work-life balance or racial equity or compassion.
As Trudi Lebron, Diversity, Equity & Inclusion and social impact consultant for nonprofits and corporate institutions, says, “you live and die by your values. Be explicit in your values and stay aligned to them.” When you to this, you’ll be able to, “make decisions that reflect your commitment.”
Come back to your values. Write them down, create a vision board or creative representation of your values. Set an intention to recommit to them, then, as Trudi suggests, ask yourself: “Where am I out of alignment?”
If you haven’t identified your core values yet, start with this article, or choose your values from this list of common core values.
2. Discover (or rediscover) your purpose
Your purpose is who you are at your core. It’s what your soul came to this Earth to do. Discovering your purpose is a great way to gain clarity in your life’s path and stop feeling lost or overwhelmed.
Similar to your values, when you know your purpose, you can align your actions, finances, career, and social impact in a way that serves the world.
When you’re feeling lost, you can recenter by discovering, or rediscovering, your life purpose. Your purpose may change over time, as you learn and grow as an individual, so it’s important to come back to it every now and then.
You can break the cycle of overwhelm because your purpose is like a compass, guiding you over life’s path. Keeping you centered, focused and clear on what really matters to you, what you want from life, and how you want to serve the world.
Knowing this is important because serving the world is what your soul needs. Helping others helps you to deeply connect with yourself. But you can’t serve from an empty cup.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, lost, or uncertain, finding your life purpose can help you reconnect with the part of you that longs to make an impact in the world.
Not sure where to start? Join my free 30-Day Life Purpose Challenge. Over 30 days, you’ll use an ancient Japanese philosophy, Ikigai, and daily journal prompts to guide you to find your purpose. You’ll spend time reflecting on what you love to do, what you’re good at doing, what you can be paid for, and what the world needs from you.
When you sign up for the challenge, you’ll also receive a downloadable workbook with prompts to guide you. At the end of the challenge, you’ll put all your work together to define your Ikigai, or your life purpose, and the impact you’re meant to make in the world.
3. Write it out
When you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, it can be difficult to sort through your brain noise – the anxious thoughts racing around, competing for your attention.
When your thoughts are so loud or so chaotic, that you can’t make sense of what’s fear or anxiety, and what’s something you actually need to pay attention to, it can be helpful to write it out.
Journaling helps to sort through your chaotic thoughts, because when you see them on paper, you can examine them from a new perspective. They're no longer fearful thoughts swimming around your brain; they're words that you can read and reflect on.
Free writing (or as Gabby Bernstein calls it, “Rage on the Page”) can help you make sense of what you’re thinking or feeling, especially when you aren’t sure how to describe it, or when you feel lost. It can lead to a sense of clarity once you’ve worked through your thoughts, because it allows you to address what you need to. Free writing helps you find solutions to the things you’re struggling with and gain perspective on how you can overcome confusion.
To start free writing, you can simply do a brain dump of every negative or stressful thought in your head. Write down anything that comes to mind, or anything you'd like to process.
Or, if you prefer to use a prompt, you can start with an event or experience that overwhelms you. Describe the event or experience in detail, then identify your reaction to the event. Write about the thoughts and feelings you experienced, then identify what you can do to take action or resolve the problem.
Journaling is a great mindfulness practice, and this method of journaling helps you break through overwhelm by shifting your perspective and allowing you to process your thoughts and reactions.
4. Connect to your inner wisdom
When you feel lost, it can be helpful to seek guidance from ancestors, angels, or Source (Spirit/God/Universe). Many people use meditation to connect to guidance from higher realms.
Meditation helps you connect to your inner wisdom by bringing your attention to a single focus, often your breath.
When you have chaotic or overwhelming thoughts, spending a few minutes in silent meditation can interrupt the overwhelm cycle and help you quiet your anxiety.
You can use that stillness to listen for insights, thoughts, or nudges from your guides, or you can use that space to visualize a resource, solution, or path forward.
My favorite way to connect to my inner wisdom is turning to Tarot. Since 2015, I’ve used Tarot as a tool for introspection and self-coaching, to help me work through difficult moments in my life.
I’ve found it especially helpful in times when I’ve felt lost, confused, or disconnected.
The cards don’t report on what’s happening in your life or predict your future. Rather, each card offers a different invitation or opportunity to tune into your inner wisdom.
You can pull a single card and ask, “what card is showing up to support me in this moment?” Or, you can pull a simple 3-card spread and ask:
Card 1: What’s happening in the present moment?
Card 2: What am I being invited to pay attention to? (or What am I being invited to release?)
Card 3: How can I support myself? (Self-care, resources, solutions)
You have all the answers within you. Sometimes, you just need help pulling them out!
For more info on card meanings or how to use Tarot, I highly recommend my friend Brandi Spradling at Venus in Retro Tarot, or my teacher, Lindsay Mack’s Tarot for the Wild Soul Podcast.
5. Ask for help
At the end of the day, spiritual work is not a substitute for therapy. Sometimes, feeling lost can feel like depression. When you’re depressed, no amount of journaling, meditation, or Tarot spreads can replace the need for therapeutic counseling or medication.
If you’re feeling lost and know that the help you need is beyond the spiritual techniques above, it’s time to ask for help.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year service that can connect you with information and resources to help you care for your mental health. Not in the US? Check out this list of mental health hotlines around the world.
The Takeaway
Overwhelm is a choice. You can choose to feel lost, to stay in confusion. Or, you can choose to take powerful action to overcome uncertainty. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t always feel comfortable to take that first step, especially around your own spiritual work.
With everything happening in the world right now, you may think this spiritual work is a privilege. Like it’s about sitting on a cushion, radiating love and light, and having all the answers suddenly come to you. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, not doing your spiritual work is a privilege. It’s a privilege to stay in your comfort zone, to not try anything new, to stay silent, to not learn something or unlearn belief systems.
Spiritual work is the hard work. It’s reliving hurtful experiences to work through hard lessons. It’s allowing ourselves time and space to grieve. It’s working through trauma and pain and difficult emotions and getting really comfortable in the discomfort.
It’s not a privilege. It’s a birthright. No one gives you soul work, and no one can do this for you. It’s your choice to engage with your soul work. It’s your choice to do the hard and necessary work to unpack old paradigms and programming. You can’t serve others from a place of hurt and overwhelm, but you can choose to work through it to serve in an even bigger way.
Take action now: Choose one of the strategies from this article to help you get unstuck and overcome overwhelm. Return to the mantra, “overwhelm is a choice,” whenever you notice chaotic thoughts come into your mind. Choose to engage with your spiritual work to calm the chaos, work through your emotions, and take the steps to find yourself.
If you need a place to start, join my free 30-Day Life Purpose Challenge. Here, you’ll get daily journal prompts to help you connect with your soul and discover your life purpose. It’s not an overnight solution, but you’ll build habits around connecting with your inner wisdom and self-reflection that will serve you your entire lifetime. Take your first step and join for free today!
